I am by no way your model pregnant women. There aren’t many medical conditions that I haven’t experienced during my journey through pregnancy. As a result, I would be the first to admit I dont want to do this again. Not to me or my family. I know its only 40 weeks and that the result is a life time with someone special but its because of these special people in my life, that I dont want to go down this path again.
Being a life coach and NLP master practioner means I have many resources which I can use to keep me positive and manage these challenges. I wonder how I would have felt without them AHHHHH! Because of my work you may think that my life is always ‘balanced’ ‘positive’ ‘fulfilling’. It’s like thinking policemen never break the law or doctors look after their health. Yes, we all know better but sometimes we choose worse. I think that’s what makes me an even better coach-I understand what its like to make poor choices as well as good ones.
The media, I feel, portrays a more romantic picture of pregnancy with posed photos of healthy pregnant mums managing to look after their family and attend the latest opening of their new film (when did they fit the filming in!). A few may give a real glimpse to what it might be like -Billy Piper (she referred to herself as a space hopper!), Charlotte Church who tells it how it is and is still a hands on mums.
What I have found disappointing is the lack of emotional support during this time. When the midwives look at my notes, which they have to do each visit because I have yet to see the same midwife twice in the first 35 weeks, they sigh empathetically, comment on how difficult it must be and then go onto their ‘do you have sample for me’ routine, so as not to keep the next bump waiting even longer.
I appreciate that the NHS doesn’t have the capacity to manage every condition. However there are always other people or experts who do. These may be charities and private alternative therapies. When I have mentioned what treatment I have had eg Cranial Osteopathy and physio they agree that this is useful but no one, has mentioned where I can might get this specialised help.
Some government departments say they cannot recommend private practice and get round this by giving a number of alternatives so as not to be bias to one. Fantastic give us a choice. At present I only have the internet, trial and error and other mums. This takes time and money both of which are limited.
If there was a cancer drug out there which wasnt provided by the NHS, would your specialist tell you about it?
I feel I cannot explain to my midwife how I really feel about what is happening because she doesn’t know me and I if I deviate from the routine, I make the next mum wait even longer then the usual 15-30 minutes delay.
For me, I would appreciate seeing the same person before and after the birth so that we can skip the formalities and talk about what is really happening. They can also tell how things are with me because they know me. Wouldnt that be more fulfilling for them too? Please, please, please reconsider case load midwifery, like the Albany practice in London, who have some amazing results for lowering intervention and increasing mothers well being.
Until then, I’ll be delighted to stick to two healthy children! http://www.albanymidwives.org.uk/albanymidwiveshomepage.php