Yes, we know sleep deprivation is used as torture but that doesnt help when you dont know how to get more of it. Its one of the first things new mums ask you, ‘how old is she/he?’ then ‘is she/he a good sleeper?’. Its as if you are being assessed on your parenting skills or genes within days of delivering your angel. when do you start labelling cherub a ‘good’ ‘bab’ sleeper and what effect does that have? What are your expectations? As someone smart once said you dont expect a baby to speak when its first born so why expect it to sleep through the night. however we have all seen friends struggling because their babys sleeping habit is preventing them from having enough sleep. The reasons they give are all very plausible: my baby is hungry, its light in the mornings, teething, breastfeeding, illness, out of their routine etc etc. when is there a real problem and at what age can it be solved?
Apparently 1/4 of parents suffer from lack of sleep yet the majority dont take professional advice to solve the problem. Perhaps labelling the problem makes it OK to live with? Often it can come to a head when there is significant change ie mum is returning to work: she can no longer look like a zombie or when another baby is coming and could tip the family over the coping threshold.
Sometimes waking in the middle of the night and having a cuddle answers the needs of the parents and child if you are not seeing one another enough during the day. However its a nice comfort every now and then but not when you’ve had a late night or got a meeting first thing in the morning!
Without enough sleep to feel rested and energised it can be difficult to cope with your busy life let alone enjoy it. more sleep might even allow you to have an opportunity to nurture your own relationships spending relaxing time with your partner or catching up with friends in the evening.
Caroline Deacons Baby Calming book has a chapter on sleep. How it works and how it can get disrupted. The no cry sleep solution is another popular book for those that dont want to use controlled crying. For personal advice then do read Linda Russells article or better still speak to her. She coaches parents across the globe and helps to change families lives for the better. Could more sleep change yours?